To my Luke Skywalker

I think I fell in-love with you a little bit more,
today.
The curve of your smirk,
the crinkle in your eye,
that once made me so
breathless.
I'm starting to understand how to love you from a distance,
to keep you happy,
even if it's just a little.
I've stopped asking questions that aren't meant to be answered
and started keeping my head down
even if it's just a little.
Just so I won't scare you with my ego.

I think I fell in-love with you a little bit more,
today than yesterday.
Drowning in memories of you,
when you used to laugh,
or smile.
What a beautiful way to die.
Falling head-fist into what we called "family days".
With hot-dogs, and beans and coleslaw,
and Luke Skywalker and Darth Vader for company.
While cuddling up beneath the same afgan,
just for some warmth.
Back when being "in-love" meant chasing each other around the "church's" halls,
Being "together" mean you'd hold my hand and chase away any
young suitor who came alongthreatening under your breath
"I'll beat the crap outta him".
Way back when "crap" was a "bad word",
and kissing was "eewwwww!!!! cooties!!!"

Falling in-love with you was
like eating a candy bar.
Finishing, then craving more so badly that you'd go broke trying to buy more.
You were my addiction,
my drug.
At ten and eleven you overwhelmed my senses,
became my protector, my knight.
Now as we've drifted so far,
and you have abandoned your post as my knight
to become some other princess's,
I will only allow myself to love you so much,
before I too,
find other.